hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Congratulations! We have a period
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
