you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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