I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
