i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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