2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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