Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize