The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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