its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
