What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
