We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
