my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
