I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
