We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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