So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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