Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
