hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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