i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
