I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
