Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
