this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
