it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
