just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
