Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
