My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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