There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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