Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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