My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
