Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
