Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
