he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
