I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize