So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
