I look better un-naked...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
