i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
