Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're a waste of cheezeits
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
