Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize