I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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