I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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