Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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