once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
do nipples grow back?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
