what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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