2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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