Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
