so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
