I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so let's talk penis.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
