i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
