she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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