Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
