Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
