First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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