lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
