You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
