I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
