i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
