I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
