TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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