i think my tv is drunk
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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