you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
