I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize