she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
