I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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