youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
