dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
