On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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