Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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