You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
