your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
